NOTE TO SELF
Lee, nobody reads your drivel. So maybe you might wish to consider just cutting loose a bit. Censoring curse words? Why? If nobody reads it, nobody can be offended, right? This is a serious existential crisis I have on my hands here. I need to determine an audience, but I think I am my own audience. Either that or I suck so fuckin bad that people are embarassed to admit they've read this shit. Hm.
Anyways, what did I watch this weekend?
1. DEADLY PREY; hilrious ripoff of FIRST BLOOD and RAMBO. A little bit gay if you ask me. The star runs around in teeny tiny cutoff hotpants the whole time. Cool ending though. He kills the shit out of EVERYBODY.
2. DARK AGE; recently shown at QT6! An Aussie JAWS starring a bigass crocodile. Rather well-made and interesting throughout. Croc looks kinda fake, but aside from this I was into it. Does NOT go in predictable directions. Refreshing turnabout in the middle has all the protagonists trying to SAVE the croc from poachers, and relocate him as opposed to destroy him! Great little movie.
3. CHUD; or maybe its C.H.U.D.? Silly 80's monster drek. Daniel Stern is awesome, however, as the impassioned soup kitchen owner out to expose the toxic-waste-dumping-in-New-York conspiracy. John Heard also gets the job done. Script is actually somewhat witty! Unfortunately the movie falters a bit and fails to resolve much of anything. A truck blowing up serves as the big finale. Yawn. Note: early appearance by John Goodman as "Cop in Cafe #2."
4. GO TELL THE SPARTANS; early Nam flick that everyone has heard about but hardly anybody has seen. Its not real hard to come by or anything. I guess when I think "Burt Lancaster" I don't get images of "Barnes and Elias" in my head. Its OK I suppose. Not too much suckage to be fair; the majority of it seems to have "made for TV" production values, but the last 40 minutes finally gets going with a big firefight and all the great "the kid's got a grenade" nihilism that makes Vietnam so exciting. Great supporting cast! Craig "Body Double" Wasson is the idealistic Charlie Sheen character who volunteers, but by the end is so disillusioned he just goes home. Marc Singer is the Exec Officer, all piss and vinegar before THE BEASTMASTER turned him into a big fat gay icon. The guy who plays "Palmer" from THE THING is a crazy Psy-Ops dude, and the Chinese guy from KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE is the hard-bitten native tracker with a penchant for torturing "communist peoples." Oh yeah and "Chew" from BLADE RUNNER (aka "Lo Pan" from BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA) is on-hand to make pithy statements and also make The Noble Sacrifice. Come to think of it, its kinda funny how many known Chinese actors are playing Vietnamese here. Then again I've seen a few Nam flicks shot in the Phillipines and those dudes tend to read Mexican, so I guess Chinese is at least a little bit better.
Feel free to not comment, bitches!
Anyways, what did I watch this weekend?
1. DEADLY PREY; hilrious ripoff of FIRST BLOOD and RAMBO. A little bit gay if you ask me. The star runs around in teeny tiny cutoff hotpants the whole time. Cool ending though. He kills the shit out of EVERYBODY.
2. DARK AGE; recently shown at QT6! An Aussie JAWS starring a bigass crocodile. Rather well-made and interesting throughout. Croc looks kinda fake, but aside from this I was into it. Does NOT go in predictable directions. Refreshing turnabout in the middle has all the protagonists trying to SAVE the croc from poachers, and relocate him as opposed to destroy him! Great little movie.
3. CHUD; or maybe its C.H.U.D.? Silly 80's monster drek. Daniel Stern is awesome, however, as the impassioned soup kitchen owner out to expose the toxic-waste-dumping-in-New-York conspiracy. John Heard also gets the job done. Script is actually somewhat witty! Unfortunately the movie falters a bit and fails to resolve much of anything. A truck blowing up serves as the big finale. Yawn. Note: early appearance by John Goodman as "Cop in Cafe #2."
4. GO TELL THE SPARTANS; early Nam flick that everyone has heard about but hardly anybody has seen. Its not real hard to come by or anything. I guess when I think "Burt Lancaster" I don't get images of "Barnes and Elias" in my head. Its OK I suppose. Not too much suckage to be fair; the majority of it seems to have "made for TV" production values, but the last 40 minutes finally gets going with a big firefight and all the great "the kid's got a grenade" nihilism that makes Vietnam so exciting. Great supporting cast! Craig "Body Double" Wasson is the idealistic Charlie Sheen character who volunteers, but by the end is so disillusioned he just goes home. Marc Singer is the Exec Officer, all piss and vinegar before THE BEASTMASTER turned him into a big fat gay icon. The guy who plays "Palmer" from THE THING is a crazy Psy-Ops dude, and the Chinese guy from KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE is the hard-bitten native tracker with a penchant for torturing "communist peoples." Oh yeah and "Chew" from BLADE RUNNER (aka "Lo Pan" from BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA) is on-hand to make pithy statements and also make The Noble Sacrifice. Come to think of it, its kinda funny how many known Chinese actors are playing Vietnamese here. Then again I've seen a few Nam flicks shot in the Phillipines and those dudes tend to read Mexican, so I guess Chinese is at least a little bit better.
Feel free to not comment, bitches!
posted by figurebuilder at 8:34 AM
5 Comments:
I remember seeing parts of CHUD on HBO when I was a kid and being kinda freaked out by it, but I don't quite trust my youthful instincts nowadays. I'll have to give that a shot.
One that I remember much better from the same era is The Stuff, which creeped me out considerably. Let's just say that I didn't eat the yogurt packed with my school lunch for a few weeks after that. Anyone else with a favorite 80s shitball horror classic?
I'm afraid I have completely reverted to my "youthful instincts." How else can you explain my willfull revisitation of such obvious garbage? Still, it was not entirely painful, and actually kinda fun. THE STUFF is one I remember, but mostly as it had Garrett Morris from SNL in it! I always get it mixed up with STREET TRASH, which, frankly, is really overrated. People love this movie but its just awful and really dumb and boring. But I guess a "cult" movie isn't of much worth if everyone likes it; it helps if you are in a minority of afficianados and can keep it close to your heart while everyone else wonders what the hell you are thinking.
the stuff rules. larry cohen is a genius on certain days. the michael moriarty performance in the stuff is pretty out there. but if you really want to see an insane high wire act that will make you question the existence of Law and Order (all versions), check out It's Alive 3: island of the alive. Moriarty is insane. It is an affront to nature that the same man in Island of the Alive could star for a few years in the grand and glorious institution that is Law and Order without appending a colon and the name of yet another spinoff series. Law and Order: Danger to Self and Others. the ending of island of the alive is also extra special good and unfuckingbelievable and includes the participation of Karen Black. and then there's the scene in the "punk club" that is 100% right out of the infamous Quincy punk episode. GENIUS.
chud is pretty good too. with the best title of the '80s.
Precious Kitten and Rennie Harlin's Bitch are now officially my new bestest friends.
if i stop and realize that everyone is already bored with me and no one really cares...or tht they just don't feel like commentng{which i realize happens a lot]=i can't let this discourage me...for me my blog is to get it out and if someone reads it=great...but writing stuff down has simply helped. i realize too tht if i'm down, they'd rather not hear it again...and that's mainly what i am. doesn't word verif. rock?
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