WORST. MOVIES. EVER. 8/27/07
These are movies I actually sat through in a theatre. I've seen far worse on video --- the list would be epic. Add to the list your choices and reply!
In no particular order:
1. STAR WARS: EPISODE ONE: When its not being a soulless fake-a-thon, its juvenile, convoluted, and loaded with dire acting.
2. BATMAN AND ROBIN: even under the influence, I thought this was a horrible mess. Too many characters who go nowhere. Clooney plays himself as Batman at a costume party. When Arnold is the best thespian on board, look out.
3. MATRIX: RELOADED: I described it as "Episode One Bad."
4. TOMB RAIDER 2: uneventful and meandering. Angelina Jolie punches a shark underwater.
5. THE CROW 2: kinda ruined my opinion that "if it has Iggy Pop in it, it's gotta be good."
6. HIGHLANDER 2: When Sean Connery can't save you, you're really in big trouble. What up with all the aliens?
7. GODFATHER 3: Sofia Coppolla.
8. STREET FIGHTER (VAN DAMME): Raul Julia as a kung-fu super-villain?!
9. THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW: run from the cold weather! (And the fake dogs.)
10. TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME: I still don't know what its about.
11. TRANSFORMERS (BAY): your opinion might differ if you enjoy Mountain Dew and Xbox and GM cars.
12. THE ISLAND (BAY): Dear Michael Bay, please make R-rated movies again, your PG ones kinda suck without all the tasteless violence.
13. GODZILLA (US VERSION): and I own all the Japanese ones on DVD.
14. HOOK: I should've trusted my instincts on this one. Thankfully, it has faded from memory.
15. MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENSTEIN: When Abbott and Costello make a better Frankenstein movie than you, stop directing movies
In no particular order:
1. STAR WARS: EPISODE ONE: When its not being a soulless fake-a-thon, its juvenile, convoluted, and loaded with dire acting.
2. BATMAN AND ROBIN: even under the influence, I thought this was a horrible mess. Too many characters who go nowhere. Clooney plays himself as Batman at a costume party. When Arnold is the best thespian on board, look out.
3. MATRIX: RELOADED: I described it as "Episode One Bad."
4. TOMB RAIDER 2: uneventful and meandering. Angelina Jolie punches a shark underwater.
5. THE CROW 2: kinda ruined my opinion that "if it has Iggy Pop in it, it's gotta be good."
6. HIGHLANDER 2: When Sean Connery can't save you, you're really in big trouble. What up with all the aliens?
7. GODFATHER 3: Sofia Coppolla.
8. STREET FIGHTER (VAN DAMME): Raul Julia as a kung-fu super-villain?!
9. THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW: run from the cold weather! (And the fake dogs.)
10. TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME: I still don't know what its about.
11. TRANSFORMERS (BAY): your opinion might differ if you enjoy Mountain Dew and Xbox and GM cars.
12. THE ISLAND (BAY): Dear Michael Bay, please make R-rated movies again, your PG ones kinda suck without all the tasteless violence.
13. GODZILLA (US VERSION): and I own all the Japanese ones on DVD.
14. HOOK: I should've trusted my instincts on this one. Thankfully, it has faded from memory.
15. MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENSTEIN: When Abbott and Costello make a better Frankenstein movie than you, stop directing movies
posted by figurebuilder at 1:13 PM
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