10/10/07: BRONX WARRIORS, Italian Cop stuff too!
1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS (Castellari, 1982)
FINALLY got to see this all the way through ... Pretty much worth it too. Not a great movie by any stretch, but most definitely hilarious and worth seeing again.
Things got off to a rocky start, but it was my fau
lt, as I mistakenly was expecting things "to get started," but after about 40 minutes I accepted that there really wasn't any plot to follow. "Its just a lot of stuff that happened," as a wise man once said. A series of events. I'd call it a character piece, but that too would be inaccurate, unless character TYPES were considered (Bad Guy, Hero, Cop, Biker 2). Its a lot of fun seeing not-dead-yet Vic Morrow cackle maniacally and "be evil," and unmissable to see Mark Gregory try out those fancy "walk masculinely" lessons he got on set. (Spoiler: they didn't take.) High point is Fred Williamson in his role as "Duke of New Y ... er KING OF THE BRONX." Come to think of it, the whole thing is just a knockoff of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, which is weird because the DVD is marketed as a "Post Apocalyptic" movie but there is no apocalypse to speak of. But Fred has some good moves in this and has a costume that is reminiscent of Cyclops from the X-men, so that's cool. Plus, atypically, he gets killed at the end, a rarity.
Hysterical dialogue results in lines like "That sounds like a pile of shit from my asshole!" and "You are the biggest son of a bitch in the world!"
Most of the production design and costumes are far above-average here, but that might be because ROAD WARRIOR hasn't come along yet and gayed-up costume design thereafter. Not that this movie lacks gayness in any way. One of the main dudes looks exactly like Freddie Mercury, and his tear-stained death scene in Gregory's arms is a thing of beauty. Female lead is window dressing for the straight kids in the audience, as Gregory pays her lip service as being "his woman" but shows little real interest in her throughout. Shocking ending results in majority of the cast buying it in the 3rd act, and Gregory perfuncorily drags Morrow's grappling-hook-impaled body through the streets Mogadishu-style behind his motorcycle, while most everybody else is dead. Strangely, there exists a sequel, cleverly titled ESCAPE FROM THE BRONX, which would seem imperative.
***
Other movies viewed recently, in my "Italian Cop" visitation:
STREET LAW (Castellari, 1974): vigilante picture, knockoff of DEATH WISH starring Franco Nero. Nero is a stud, make no mistake, and get
s a lot of props for doing a lot of obviously-dangerous stunts, most impressive being outrunning a Mustang in slow-motion. Very nice. Great bloody ending reminiscent of the sniper scene in FULL METAL JACKET. One guy gets impaled by a forklift. Hey! That's Italian!
FINALLY got to see this all the way through ... Pretty much worth it too. Not a great movie by any stretch, but most definitely hilarious and worth seeing again.
Things got off to a rocky start, but it was my fau
lt, as I mistakenly was expecting things "to get started," but after about 40 minutes I accepted that there really wasn't any plot to follow. "Its just a lot of stuff that happened," as a wise man once said. A series of events. I'd call it a character piece, but that too would be inaccurate, unless character TYPES were considered (Bad Guy, Hero, Cop, Biker 2). Its a lot of fun seeing not-dead-yet Vic Morrow cackle maniacally and "be evil," and unmissable to see Mark Gregory try out those fancy "walk masculinely" lessons he got on set. (Spoiler: they didn't take.) High point is Fred Williamson in his role as "Duke of New Y ... er KING OF THE BRONX." Come to think of it, the whole thing is just a knockoff of ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, which is weird because the DVD is marketed as a "Post Apocalyptic" movie but there is no apocalypse to speak of. But Fred has some good moves in this and has a costume that is reminiscent of Cyclops from the X-men, so that's cool. Plus, atypically, he gets killed at the end, a rarity.Hysterical dialogue results in lines like "That sounds like a pile of shit from my asshole!" and "You are the biggest son of a bitch in the world!"
Most of the production design and costumes are far above-average here, but that might be because ROAD WARRIOR hasn't come along yet and gayed-up costume design thereafter. Not that this movie lacks gayness in any way. One of the main dudes looks exactly like Freddie Mercury, and his tear-stained death scene in Gregory's arms is a thing of beauty. Female lead is window dressing for the straight kids in the audience, as Gregory pays her lip service as being "his woman" but shows little real interest in her throughout. Shocking ending results in majority of the cast buying it in the 3rd act, and Gregory perfuncorily drags Morrow's grappling-hook-impaled body through the streets Mogadishu-style behind his motorcycle, while most everybody else is dead. Strangely, there exists a sequel, cleverly titled ESCAPE FROM THE BRONX, which would seem imperative.
***
Other movies viewed recently, in my "Italian Cop" visitation:
STREET LAW (Castellari, 1974): vigilante picture, knockoff of DEATH WISH starring Franco Nero. Nero is a stud, make no mistake, and get
s a lot of props for doing a lot of obviously-dangerous stunts, most impressive being outrunning a Mustang in slow-motion. Very nice. Great bloody ending reminiscent of the sniper scene in FULL METAL JACKET. One guy gets impaled by a forklift. Hey! That's Italian! THE BIG RACKET (Castellari, 1976): Fabio Testi gets rolled down a hill while stuck inside a car. Amazing scene. Italians are crazy. BRAVO! Hilarious dubbing refuses
to include swear words and constantly substitutes the word "diddly" for "shit," resulting in corkers like "I'm going to beat the diddly out of you!" and "You dirty basket!" Otherwise, standard cop fare laced with sadism typical to the era, genre.
to include swear words and constantly substitutes the word "diddly" for "shit," resulting in corkers like "I'm going to beat the diddly out of you!" and "You dirty basket!" Otherwise, standard cop fare laced with sadism typical to the era, genre. CONTRABAND (Fulci, 1980): I might end up buying this one. Astonishing stuff. Typical of Fulci, rape, torture, and bloody mutilation strain the seams, leaving little room for anything else. Revenger has Fabio Testi se
eking the rival gangsters who killed his brother in an attempt to take over his cigarette racket and use it to smuggle "drugs" instead. He's having none of it and Fulciness ensues. Utterly gorgeous lead actress maintains her dignity until the third act when the bad guys kidnap her and rape her up to motivate Testi to quit, but they end up motivating him instead to WALLOP THEIR EVIL BUTTS. With a shotgun. Fucking awesome, highly recommended.
eking the rival gangsters who killed his brother in an attempt to take over his cigarette racket and use it to smuggle "drugs" instead. He's having none of it and Fulciness ensues. Utterly gorgeous lead actress maintains her dignity until the third act when the bad guys kidnap her and rape her up to motivate Testi to quit, but they end up motivating him instead to WALLOP THEIR EVIL BUTTS. With a shotgun. Fucking awesome, highly recommended.Tonight: anticipate 2019: AFTER THE FALL OF NEW YORK. Might just play Star Wars Battlefront instead though.
posted by figurebuilder at 1:43 PM
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